What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

{RING} {RING}

Why is fitness important?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

HELLO

I have been married for 34 years, and I found out my wife lied, and cheated a lot back before we got married. Does she not change, or is it possible she is still a cheater?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

What's wrong with white women?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Should any books be banned from school libraries? Why is it important for students to read certain books in school?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Sure no problem officer.

What was your first gay male experience?

Yes sir it is.

After a few moments he returns.